On days like this
Keep your thoughts inside
Your ideas and beliefs
Just let them slide
They won’t be seen
In the light that you intend
The will be twisted, torn
Forgotten, in the end
Instead, support
Just think, be kind
Don’t fight against
Or upset their mind
Aim high, move on
Try again tomorrow
Stay strong, make your point
Find joy, not sorrow.
A level of happiness that’s not normally there
Like anything good might just happen – a certain ‘laissez faire’?
A lack of control without the tearful panic
A bizarre ‘je ne sais pas’ left behind, so not to question it.
I’m sure the sun helps, the blue and the bright
More uplifting than the grey and the cold and night
But the test is when you wake to the clouds and the rain
And the happy bubbles are still there again and again
It’s not that you are not capable of being happy on your own
Or that something was missing that you felt you should own
Just that sometimes a little help is sought
To find perspective, calm and a new train of thought.
Copyright © Oct 2014 Jenny Elizabeth Preston
Views over to Edinburgh
I went back to Edinburgh for the third time this year. Bizarrely enough, I haven’t chosen to go once, but have been invited along each time – for a romantic break, a hen do, and along on a works trip. Each time I saw something totally different and each time I imagined moving to the city! Admittedly I’ve been blessed with blue skies, festivals and holiday fever, which always helps!!
The firth of forth bridge – en route!
I well and truly googled ‘things to do’ for my trip in February, and had a well planned list of attractions. On the list were visits to the Scottish Parliament building, Arthur’s Seat, Holyrood Palace, The Royal Mile, Edinburgh Castle, the quirky little windy cobbled street, The Haymarket area, and a few shops.
We did quite well, saw them all and squeezed in a few other places and a couple of drinks, although when I say ‘saw’, I mean ‘walked past’. Woah you need a lot of money to ‘sight see’!! It was about £10-15 each entrance for the castle and Holyrood palace, so we skipped those, and instead went in to watch a debate in the parliament buildings for free. Which was ace!! They were just starting to debate Scotland becoming independent, and it was really interesting. Glad The Awesome one had such an interest in the actual building, because I would never have thought to go there!!
On the hen do, we ventured again to the gates of the castle for some selfies – how far can you go without paying?! Before a wander around some shops. The activities planned were lovely, we went for brunch at a very cute little tea room called ‘eteaket’, where the owner had designed a brunch menu for us, and then gave us directions as to places to go, even walking up the road with us to make sure we didn’t get lost!! We had a cocktail making class and dinner at Le Monde and entrance to the Shanghai club downstairs, which also had a lovely wine bar (sky bar) that quite a few of us ended up back in later on, instead of the club downstairs…..the hen do did really sort the clubbers from the wine bar goers! The whole package was really good, but unfortunately the club side of things wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea, so that meant that we split at the end of the night. I was literally watching my watch….I’m not sure if it was being away from British dance music for over a year and so not wanting to dance, my shoes sticking to the floor, not being able to hear anyone or chat at all, or just that my tastes have changed…..I found the other girls up in the bar, found my self a glass of wine and settled down in a comfy chair in a beautiful room for a good gossip. Lovely!!
St Andrews square
Both times that I visited in August, I stayed out of the city due to the prices. To be honest neither of the options were worthy of a review as they were such a treck in and out of the city and I wouldn’t recommend that! Book early for August to go to the Fringe festival, or stick to a different month!!
The best joke of the fringe…..
The romantic trip…..
For a little spa break, we stopped for a night at The Norton House Hotel, that we booked through Secret Escapes. The room was brilliant, with a TV at the end of the bath, a massive double bed and a little balcony over looking quite a bit of greenery and the pool building. It was a little busy in the pool, but there was a large jacussi, steam room and sauna as well as a few sun loungers down the side of the pool, so I was happy!! The restaurant was lovely too, and unfortunately had amazing locally sourced food which meant that I gave up my vegetarianism for good that evening to try an Aberdeen Angus beef burger with haggis…. Which admittedly was gorgeous. Breakfast was included, but we discovered that there was also an option to have it in our room. Wow! Room service it was! We literally ticked every box that we wanted, and I ended up having a little snack for later, there was that much delivered!! So impressed, we loved this hotel!!
We stayed at the Angels Share Hotel in the city, which is a quirky little place with white hanging baskets and fairy lights outside. It’s above a cocktail bar/restaurant full of mirrors and chandeliers and gorgeous food. And gorgeous white wine, which apparently turned me into a moody madam. Oops!! Will stick to the red in the future! We were ‘upgraded’ to the ‘Ewan McGregor’ room, which quite literally had Ewan in full Scottish kilt above the bed. Lovely room, full orange Train-spotting promo poster on the wall, and huge comfy bed. What else do you need? The breakfast was gorgeous and included in our secret escapes deal – I was introduced to potato cakes with my breakfast – another little gem to add to my vege fry up!! The only downside to this hotel was the parking. Or lack of it. The Awesome one had to drive 5 mins away to an NCP car park, which meant that there was a bit of a staggered arrival and a little too much stress getting lost in a one way system in an new city for a romantic break.
The hen do – Blue Rainbow apart hotel
We got the train up to Edinburgh for the hen do, so walked from Waverley station to the hotel. Avec good old Google maps, we found our way through to the hotel, maybe a 10-15 minute walk with luggage. We had about 4 rooms between us all, and I was in an apartment with a double room and a single put up bed in the lounge. The apartment was really quite swish, with a lovely new open plan kitchen, set table and sofa with a large TV. The only thing that wasn’t up to scratch was the ventilation, especially in the bathroom – we all literally were roasting hot as though it was a sauna which wasn’t really very pleasant! The rooms looked out on beautiful private and hidden gardens behind the terraced rows and were tastefully decorated. It was easy to find and not too far to walk to the shops and places to go out, though it was definitely a taxi ride to the castle!! A good choice for a large group!
On the way home from the most recent trip, we drove to Penicuik. Driving south from the city, we drove past some quirky ass shops, vintage places, vege cafés and trendy little spots. I was intrigued. We were on Morningside road, and it was really quite busy. The traffic meant that I could nosey a little more, which I loved, and definitely decided that on my return to Edinburgh, whenever that might be, I will be looking to stay here and have a little explore!!
The green walk along the water front
I had literally a couple of hours free to explore Dundee, after being dropped off just on the outskirts of the city. I headed down Perth Road and the views just opened up down to the water. I couldn’t resist, and so wandered down with the aim of a walk along the water front. Ahh. Not to be. The water front is lined with a train track and a road and a shopping/ industrial area. Maybe there would be a nice spot on the other side, but as it would take me too far away from my pick up spot in town, I had to make do with the ‘green’ walk way. Admittedly it started off really nicely, with a bandstand on a slope, but then it turned into a graffiti lined path with science buildings, train track wires and views to a Tesco express….. I pulled out my google maps and headed back to town!
Dundee had the predictable Debenhams, Next, M&S etc and so I grabbed a Greggs pasty with the aim of walking to look for something a bit different. Well it found me. I was quite literally dive bombed by a massive sea gull. It knocked my shoulder, taking my pasty out of my hand, knocking it to the floor to get rid of the bag, scooping it back up again before flying off, leaving me to pick up the rubbish and fending off all the other birds that came to see what was going on. Not impressed! The funniest bit was, that I had been walking wide of a ridiculously chav tastic shouty lady, with hoop earrings so big that they would pull your ear lobes off. After the sea gull struck, she jumped to my rescue, kicking away the other birds and cursing them over and over! (Well at least I think she was, I couldn’t totally understand her) That’ll teach me and my judgemental ways!!
The art gallery and museum
I managed to find some beautiful buildings in Dundee which helped to erase the seagull debacle from my mind (Temporarily). There was a church in the centre, which had a semi-circle of modern shops around it, a lovely large square by Cairdie hall, a a Cathedral (where I stopped for a moment of peace, only to be greeted by a guy fixing the pews with a lot of loud banging) and the museum and art gallery. Just like at the Glasgow gallery and museum, I found my self looking more at the building than it’s contents. This was in a church, and the stained glass windows were just beautiful. I actually found some information on two ladies who had travelled around the world and reported back for a column in the Dundee Courier newspaper. The Scottish lady was called Bessie Maxwell, and lived from 1871 – 1946. Her first publication was all about the fashions in Paris, and was really quite entertaining. I’m going to see if I can track down how to read more, as she travelled in such different times.
Views from perth road
Dundee was definitely worth a stop on our little Scottish tour, but to be honest I was quite happy wandering for a couple of hours and didn’t really need any more time. I walked back up Perth Road, and was greeted by a lovely view to say goodbye.
What a lovely delight!! I had literally heard of Stirling because a friend from school went to uni there. That was the extent of my knowledge. On arrival, It turned out that The Awesome One had lived up to his name, as he had booked a room in a castle. A dinky one, with pointy turrets and tiny gardens. Cute as. If it was pink It could have been Disney.
Broomhall Castle
We were met by a lovely gentlemen called Scott and a bowl of Vimto lollies. Loved it immediately. Our room was on the first floor, literally steps away from the restaurant. On the way to the hotel I had looked at the photos on the website and suggested that we might be in a room with a four poster bed. The Awesome One squashed my wishes with an ‘ahem I doubt I payed that much….’ kind of a comment. Guess who was wrong?! We literally both “wow”ed as we walked into the room. Four poster bed, two sofas, massive beautiful bay window, bathroom with a claw foot bath. And the room was huge! I literally exercised just unpacking and making a cup of tea. The side window looked out over the hills, with a perfect view of the Wallace Monument. Built in remembrance of William Wallace, with a lot of steps apparently and the most unusual design. We could see it on the hillside while driving along, and had quite a few debates on whether it was slightly wonky because it was eroding and falling apart, or because of the design. You really need to get up close and see it – each corner of the tower has a different design, from afar it looks like one side had fallen away, whereas up close it looks very detailed!
Scott had recommended a restaurant in town (as the hotel food looked delicious but was definitely out of my mini holiday budget), so we drove into town to explore. It was a tad drizzly, and 5.30pm, so we could only window shop and wander – we headed to Stirling castle on the hill for the view and then walked around the city. There was a jail, a massive graveyard on the hill surrounding the castle, an art gallery and museum, and statues of Rob Roy and Robbie Burns. We found a few information boards for a walking tour, which was quite handy, and walked to the ‘King’s knot’ which is the Castle gardens, except that it’s all grass…… So imagine the octagonal flower beds with perfectly organised raised beds, only with grass. It was quite bizarre, especially as I didn’t even realise that the ‘bumps’ were so organised until we had climbed to the ‘knot’ at the middle of the gardens! So observant of me…
After a walk around the gorgeous streets to see the expensive huge houses, (‘google map free’ as the tall one likes to wander without maps – totally freaks me out not knowing where I am), we headed to Pappa Joe’s – the restaurant recommended by our hotel. It was decorated with old memorabilia, and was quite funky in a ‘new Orleans’ 60s ish American style. If that makes sense! There were old radios, violins, tennis rackets, bread bins, photos and model aeroplanes on the wall and hanging from the ceiling. There was always something to look at, I really liked it! They doubly impressed me with a vege burger on the menu, which bizarrely enough came with stir fried veg on top….random but it kind of worked and I definitely appreciated the health benefits of a ton of veg! This eating out every night is bad for the waistline!! Not to mention the cooked breakfasts!! The Broomhall breakfast menu quite clearly said, that it understood how people liked to be fussy. So although you could have salmon and scrambled eggs, or a cooked breakfast with haggis and black pudding, you could also make your own breakfasts up. Oh dear. I did. Smoked salmon, (literally almost the whole packet that you would buy in the shops), scrambled eggs, potato cake, toast, black pudding and haggis. Immense. And gorgeous. Quite possibly the best UK hotel stay this year!
I went back into town the following morning, and discovered a certain hidden element to the city – literally a huuuge indoor shopping centre! We had been wondering how such a tiny place was classed as a city, this answered it a little bit!! There was a small entrance door, which I happened to stumble across, and the cute cobbled streets and few shops opened up to a mini Arndale centre!! Tons of shops!! Ahhh it is a city! In side! I much preferred the cuteness of the outside, I’m starting to look more for the old parts of town rather than the city centres, where you can wander and find unique little shops rather than the usual high street list of everyday shops. I think I might start looking to do a few little day trips to look for quirky shops in the Autumn, I’ve loved exploring these Scottish cities so much!
Largs– What a lovely little gem!! It’s on the West Coast, about an hour south west from Glasgow.
We came down as it was on the Awesome One’s work list, and I jumped out on the sea front to leave him to go and earn some pennies. It was a tad blustery, so equipped with hoody, waterproof, scarf and boots, I put my head down against the wind and started out. Crikey it felt good to walk by the sea!!
I soon discovered that everything was in the opposite direction to where I was heading, and turned to be helped along by the wind. After a tiny little wander around the town, I literally spent the next few hours walking along the coastal path, stopping to look at all the colourful painted benches on the front. They all had different plaques of remembrance on them and were lovely to read.
I made it passed the ‘Pencil’ statue right down to the Largs Yacht Haven and the sun well and truly shone down on all the beautiful boats!! Definitely on my Christmas list!! There was a little spot to sit and watch in peace, so I set up camp and watched as a few people took the smaller boats out.
The Awesome One turned for an early tea at the yacht club Scott’s – it was quite literally full of old school yachtsmen having a gin at the stylish bar, and a ton of locals there for an early tea. It was quite lovely, and with the price of the early bird menu being so reasonable, I decided to treat my self to a glass of port afterwards. I have been missing out!! The perfect desert for a lactose intolerant lady!!
2013 resolutions.
I wrote these whilst travelling alone, trying to overcome particularly low points, when I thought too much!! I kept them with me on my phone as little reminders to stay strong. Some still make sense. Looks like having time to think on holiday can actually pay off…..
👸Be yourself – everyone else is taken. There’s nothing wrong with being a princess if that’s what you like. The only person who is stopping you feel like you fit in and are comfortable with yourself is YOU. Start liking yourself!!!
👍👍Be positive – negative predictions or faulty thinking – write down and get rid!!
💤💤💤 Sleep facing south west. Set an alarm. Start a sleep diary of when you struggle to sleep. If you wake up within 30 mins of going to bed , GET UP!! Negative prediction – being grumpy without enough sleep/needing at least 9 hours/not being able to get up early – all crap!!!!!!! I have developed these thoughts from faulty thinking.
😍An amazing man is going to find you, and will want to be with you ‘just the way you are’. You don’t need to chase anyone. Be happy with yourself. Don’t feel the need to show off or tell too much about yourself. Be a princess. 👸 Have what you want, don’t shout about it, just get on with it!!
😄☕🍵 Drink hot water and lemon/ chamomile/ green tea/ fruit smoothies if you go to coffee shops. Only have coffee with a big breakfast – remember the crazy shakes, feeling feint and headaches – stay strong!
🍎🍊🍉🍓Have fruit at every option!!
Make sure you have some for breakfast for lasting energy. Don’t bother with toast – remember you will only get hungry!!! Or eat fruit as well!!!
👗🍞🍞🍞 Bread is BAD!!!! It will make you feel TOO full, bloated = big belly, tired and grumpy afterwards. Think skinny and only have a tiny bit!!!
🐮🐷🐤🐔🐟🐑 Stay strong. You have given up meat for a reason. It’s an animal. The thought of what that animal went through for you to eat it. The amount of fat you eat and the weight you cant lose. Not following Dads diet – more like granny’s. Find a good answer to people’s questions and believe in your reasons. Be prepared to make it easier for other people when eating at theirs/BBQs etc.
👣🏃🙆Get a fidget toy/ring/neclace and try to stop picking nails. It’s not nice!!!
😌🙇💆 Think about what you are contributing to a conversation – are you making people judge you differently? Are you saying you like/dislike things that will affect the way people think about you? Asking questions that you know the answer to or that don’t matter? For the sake of talking? contradicting yourself?
😓 Use words used to heal and smile not hurt. Would you like it if someone said this to/about you? Talk positively.
😳Change isn’t easy. More often its wrenching and difficult. But maybe thats a good thing. Its change that makes us strong, keeps us resilient and teaches us to evolve. The world changes. Electrons collide. People collide and alter each others paths. (Love a good film quote)
🍰🍔🍻👟🏊🏃Exercise!! Max heart rate of 189!! Should be 113 – 142. 1 stone to shift!!! Find every opportunity to get going. Find a yoga class. Think more carefully about what you are eating. Make this the year you DON’T have to talk about losing weight because you have done it and are happy with yourself.
Ok then….
2014 – I’l be honest, some of these still apply and some I think I need to just get over!! Definitely feeling more positive in 2014 and some of these prompts are more like second nature now. According to a new book that I’m reading, I’m on a road to fulfilment.
Il let you know how that goes……
Well Glasgow you have surprised me. I have grown up with a general impression of you being ‘grey’ and ‘boring’ with people saying that there is ‘nothing to see’ and asking ‘why would you go there?’ And I did that stupid thing of completely trusting and listening, rather than taking note and making my own mind up. Everyone sees things differently – where some see quirky others see old fashioned, I take a picture and just love being there.
I have a typical need to find three things when I start in a new city. Somewhere beautiful, open and outside, somewhere to shop for bits and bobs and an art gallery. Glasgow definitely ticks these boxes, and that’s just in the West End. It’s studenty, quirky, and just the right amount of touristy.
We stayed at the Kelvin Hotel, which was ok ish, and in a beautiful high light stoned terrace on the Great Western Road. The buildings were stunning, and the position was ace for the quirky West End.
I found Waitrose and helped myself to a salad and a free coffee, before finding the Botanic gardens to sit for a picnic. There are huge glass houses with quite an extensive range of plants, some beautiful, some really quite bizarre, and that’s before you go into the ‘killer plants’ room! It was so quiet, everyone tiptoeing around like we were in a library.
I decided to head to the art gallery, but on the way were just the cutest little shops that I just neeeded to have a look in……oops but I did buy some presents as well as some little trinkets for me so I think that justifies my spending!
The Kelvin art gallery and museum was pretty amazing. I followed the signs to walk there, not quite expecting the beautiful maahhhuuussive building!! I ended up spending more time looking at the architecture than the art or museum pieces. There were these archways around the hallways on the second floor that were fabulous to look down, and carvings in the stone. While I was there, there was a quartet recital with a piper and a guitar as well as the strings (most bizarre quartet but strangely it worked) and then on the way out there was a play it your self piano – literally just outside the gallery, so I sat on the steps and listened to a girl play. Still gutted that I can’t play after so many false starts with different instruments.
I walked through Kelvin park, and just as I thought I might like to stop and have something to eat, the cutest coffee shop and bakery appeared on the corner. Perfect. Benches in the window to sit and people watch through. It was called the Cottonrake bakery, on the corner of Bank street and the Great western Road and it was quite perfect, down to the glass tea cups for my hot water and lemon and the delicious chocolate and walnut cookie.
Totally loved my day here! We went to Booly Mardy’s for tea, which turned out to be the cutest little place. I’d seen it in the day, opposite an obviously studenty place with a massive car style sign outside saying Pies➡️ Which we decided to avoid. The food was delicious and I treated myself to a Pinot noir – yay love a good glass of this wine, it’s few and far between on Manchester wine lists for some reason!
Completely glad I came on this tag a long mini trip with the man. Do my thing in the day, shop and wander and write, then meet upon the evening. so he can buy me tea. Lovely!!
“Sometimes things are ok as they are, and I need to stop trying to fix them. Sometimes I need to keep my thoughts to my self, rather than worry that people will pick at them.
But sometimes I can speak and meddle and fix, because that is just what I do. And all I am doing to the people I love is trying to help them get through.
It’s the way people react, that I need to remember, is not a direct reflection on me. They might be upset or tired or fed up, or might not have had their morning cup of tea.
So stay calm and be happy and think for the best. You’re not the only one with issues so never stop thinking of all the rest.
15.8.14
So I came away for a weekend of peace. Relaxation, sleep, a walk on the beach, time to sit still and be happy that I have nothing to do. It lasted about 12 hours.
I got here, drank wine, slept, got up, dozed, watched a few programs I had been meaning to watch, dozed a bit more, and then there was a knock on the window.
My man was at the door. I hadn’t expected him to be there. He was off on a kayaking weekend with the boys. However those same boys had got the tide tables mixed up and so had a few hours to kill. So he popped over.
Normally if my plans for peace are changed without my ok, I must admit it doesn’t go down well.
Kids where they weren’t expected. People inviting themselves along when I actually quite like time to myself. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. Especially after recently realizing that time away at the caravan on my own, is only good everynow and again as really, it’s much more fun to see people back home.
I know I like everything to be planned, to try my hardest to be organized, and that if anything changes out of my control, I tend to wobble. Is it a control thing? It’s definitely a run off of a low self esteem thing. That I’m working on.
This time I appear to be lucky. ‘Change’ with someone I love, I appear to be able to cope with a bit better now. I know how far I have come, as only two months in to this relationship thing, I remember a very certain wobble when he changed my plans on a holiday I had organised. Ooooh I played it down but good god it was tricky.
I think it’s the surprise element. The lack of consultation. Or maybe more the ‘why, is my idea bad? What’s wrong with what I suggested?’ Leading to….’maybe all my ideas are bad’ ‘ maybe they are just going along with it so as not to hurt my feelings’…. I think it’s called generalization.
I know it’s a response that is easy when you don’t believe in yourself. Which is why I’m glad I seem to have conquered it with my man. Because I quite obviously still need to work on it in other areas of my life…….
What is this need to be right?
To be perfect, to shine?
How do I let one person bother me
So much so often all the time?
As if I was born yesterday
As if I have never learnt
As if they are the only one
And don’t realise how they hurt
The tears the butterflies the backing down
Being interrupted talked over and squashed
17 more days then no need to worry
All these fears will be quashed.
27.6.14 with a lack of focus on anything else.
Elle Ever After 