On days like this
Keep your thoughts inside
Your ideas and beliefs
Just let them slide
They won’t be seen
In the light that you intend
The will be twisted, torn
Forgotten, in the end
Instead, support
Just think, be kind
Don’t fight against
Or upset their mind
Aim high, move on
Try again tomorrow
Stay strong, make your point
Find joy, not sorrow.
A level of happiness that’s not normally there
Like anything good might just happen – a certain ‘laissez faire’?
A lack of control without the tearful panic
A bizarre ‘je ne sais pas’ left behind, so not to question it.
I’m sure the sun helps, the blue and the bright
More uplifting than the grey and the cold and night
But the test is when you wake to the clouds and the rain
And the happy bubbles are still there again and again
It’s not that you are not capable of being happy on your own
Or that something was missing that you felt you should own
Just that sometimes a little help is sought
To find perspective, calm and a new train of thought.
Copyright © Oct 2014 Jenny Elizabeth Preston
It’s funny how much they change,
Those day dreams that we wish for.
One day so content with our lives,
The next we want so much more.
But the bugger is, That more money is required,
To complete the simplest wish.
So we have to go out and work hard,
So that we can tick them off the list
My dreams can be completed for free.
Just for now, I’m pretty content.
I have a man who rocks my world,
And wants to take me to Italy in a tent.
But he’s got big plans you see,
That’s one thing that I rate a lot
So he’s off working away from me
And that’s the bit that I forgot
But those plans, they now include me
So patience is definitely a virtue
It won’t be long until I can see him more,
And those dreams, they will be mine too.
Copyright © 6/3/14 Jenny Elizabeth Preston
It’s pretty good,
waking up to blue,
I’m not sure why it makes a difference
But it does seem to..
Looking of the new white blinds,
Can’t help but grin and gaze,
Listening to the birds, the Saturday morning peace,
Thinking of new happy days
The coop. Burnage.
14.6.14 © Jenny Elizabeth Preston
I’ve spent the most beautiful day sat in side Homebase, Wickes, Magnet and B&.Q. Oh and then Homebase again. Really? Admittedly we are choosing a kitchen. It takes more time. But the places are packed full of couples and families and people in ‘mid DIY’ outfits.
Is this what couples do on bank holidays? Do up the house or the garden? Because I always thought that they sat in beer gardens with friends or had BBQs and went away on holidays…..I have been jealous and sometimes rather damn lonely, longing to be able to do these ‘weekend’ things with an ‘other half’. That’s what I sat thinking that I was missing out on. But really? I’m now starting to think otherwise….Are they not more of a special occasion thing? Or a Facebook ‘postable’ thing? Or here’s a thought……does it completely depend on who the couple are and what they like to do? In which case I haven’t been missing out at all!! Because everyone is different, and generalising being in a ‘couple’ appears now to be a bit of a ridiculous idea!!
As a single girl, what on earth gave me the impression that being in a couple at the weekend was exciting and better than being single? And why has it taken this long for me to realise that actually it just bloody well depends on what you and your other half like to do?!
On my own, I like to have a lazy quiet morning drinking coffee, make a poached egg veggie breakfast, maybe do a bit of work or cleaning, walk the dog, go for a swim, read, cook a simple tea and have a glass of wine in the evening in front of NCIS or Bones.
At the moment, I don’t do any of that when I’m with the awesome one. None of it. But that’s not a bad thing. Because at the moment, those ‘things’ are ‘my things’ and ‘our’ thing is doing up his house or going to my friend’s weddings!! And ‘our’ thing next bank holiday might be something completely different. And who knows, if his house is ever our house, then I guess I would start doing my own thing there instead of at my home?
Who knows. It’s all new territory!
I do wonder though, why do I compare so much? Why do I worry if I’m doing the ‘right’ thing? And think that what other people are doing is ‘better’? Is it because I didn’t really do any of this in my 20s when my friends were coupled up? Is it because I naturally doubt my self and my choices? Or is it a ‘grass is greener’ kind of thing? How annoying!!
Comparing? Justifying?
Finding time for everyone.
Fitting them all in, running around
Being able to say it’s ‘done’.
What’s that about being present?
Being there, in the moment?
Not of thinking and worrying
About how my precious time is spent?
Putting one life down to the other
Wishing I could be here or be there
Feeling resentment or bitterness
And a complete lack of care.
This can’t be me,
the real one at least
It must just be a bad day
Where I’m not Beauty, but the Beast?
17.4.14 on the metro link – finding time for me
So on the 7th of November, 2013, a few days before I left New Zealand for a homewards bound trip, I had a little moment.
After reading ‘the secret’ almost a year before in Tasmania, I learnt that if you want something, you need to be grateful for what you have, and believe that what you want is already there. When I read a similarly inspiring piece about ‘mother earth’ helping you out, I thought what the hell, let’s give this a go. I wrote what I wanted in a man. In a boyfriend. ‘He already exists’ I thought, he just hasn’t found me yet. (Honestly? I typed it and hoped for the best.)
I want from ‘mother earth’-
Wicked smile
Dry sense of humour
Positivity
Loves music / live gigs
Independence- knows how to look after himself/ handy fixing things
Spontaneous/mischievous/young at heart
Loves to travel
Likes dogs
Likes exercise/ being active.
I must admit, after a decade of not believing that I was worthy of my friends’ time, let alone a boyfriends’, I didn’t hold much hope. I had a classic past of finding those men who had no interests in me past next week, and that spiral of ‘what is wrong with me’ had taken it’s toll.
Soooooo…… A week after I wrote this, back in Manchester, I downloaded tinder on my iPhone. It turned out to be quite amusing, swiping left and right and getting a few messages from my ‘matches’. My married friends had a go, searching for my Mr Right, while I laughed along. And then I got a message from the first bloke I had ‘swiped right’ on. The one I kept hoping would message me. Goodness.
It took exactly one month from writing my ‘I want list’ to me realising that what I wanted was right there on a ridiculously named app. I wanted a date at the Christmas Markets with the bloke with the wicked grin on the photos. So I bloody well went and got my self one. I asked him out on the 7th December.
How things work in this universe is beyond me. Every single point I said I wanted, I got. Quite literally, from the wicked smile to the active dude. All of it. We clicked. How on earth did I manage that?! I am now realising of course that this list comes with an addition of ‘occasionally grumpy when tired’ and ‘requires brews in the morning’. And I’m loving it. I asked him how he thinks he landed up with me. He said he drew the short straw…… (Hmmm reference to me being 5ft3?) I definitely drew the long one. He’s a whole foot of awesome taller.
A two minute chat
Leaves you grinning like a clown.
Everything seems alright,
No reason to frown.
Being far away,
Growing fonder and all that
Really quite a surprise
Didn’t expect that.
Is this how it goes?
What I’ve been missing out on?
Because all that missing out?
I think I’m well and truly done.
JP 6.4.14 Waverley
What is it to compromise?
Your time for theirs?
Your programme for match of the day?
Who really cares?
One gives way to another,
But that’s only one
Surely there’s plenty more
where that comes from.
It goes both ways
So surely play the game
Happiness for one
Gives the other the same
I guess that’s what it is
This whole couple thing
Figuring it out for each other
Who’s queen and who’s king?
How do people generally feel about going to work?
Really feel?
Because two years on after handing my notice in to go travelling, I’m back where I was. Feeling trapped in a job I don’t want to do, under too much pressure to be ‘outstanding’, working every night after work. Only now I’m in more debt due to said travelling. Admittedly I’m also in possession of some amazing memories. But they don’t pay the bills or the credit cards. They don’t allow you a day off sick, because any day off on ‘supply’ results in a day less pay. They also don’t stop the overwhelming feel to cry and wish I was two years ago about to start my adventure.
So I ended up feeling this way………..
How is it possible
Not to care?
How can I be capable
Of not being there?
Too much control?
Not enough give?
Too much to do
No chance to live.
Halting the happiness
Hiding the dreams
Life abandoned
Falling apart at the seams
I know I need help
To learn to say no
Panic less, smile more
Go with the flow
It still comes back
to that opinion of mine
Of my self, of me
To get better over time.
JP sale, crying, 13/3/14
So my newly acquired man rang me half way through my ‘nuclear breakdown’ and experienced my tears for the first time. And he actually helped. I actually feel positive about my ‘lifestyle’ choice rather than my ‘job’ and about the ‘repayments’ that it allows me to make. Also (ish) about the 18 months of said ‘repayments’ until I can reconsider said ‘lifestyle’ choice.
Give the man some credit, he shifted my view away from ‘I hate everything and I need wine’ to a more relaxed ‘I can drink wine and shed a few tears, but tomorrow will be ok’.
Well who would of thought it, single Elle now being coupled Elle, might start to view the world a little differently……
Time to hit the road Jack!!
And so I am starting to think about heading off on the back packing tour life. I will soon be embarking on a ‘stray’ tour of New Zealand, on a bus of up to 30 ish. I have bought a ‘Max Pass’ which basically means I get to go everywhere the tour operates, on a hop off hop on basis.
I have re read my advice in Travelling solo – what to pack, after a lovely mention in halftheworldaway.com’s blog about Oz. And had a major cull of clothes. I have been a lovely friend to the salvation army of Queenstown, as I’m sure many travellers are, however am still slightly concerned about how many dresses and pairs of shoes I have. Did I REALLY fit it all in to get here from Oz? I have abandoned two maxi dresses, four tops, a skirt, a jacket. Oh that’s not much is it?! And I kind of want the jacket back….
I have started the data saving process, ie turning emails to manual download only, deleting job vacancy emails, turning off FB and Twitter notifications, getting rid of apps that I just don’t need at the moment. Everything that could trick me into using more data than I want to when I turn my phone on to check messages. Then the space saving – the apps again, deleting photos and uploading to my skydrive while I have wifi.
I’ve scored myself some free washing powder and liquid from work, (possibly the only benefit of house keeping) found a good sized water bottle as my cash saving refill, found my travel towel and dug out my trusty Mary Poppins style day bag.
I’ve got rid of un necessary paper, note books, memorabilia ( tat in my eyes, not an ounce of sentiment in me when it comes to keeping stuff!! ), planned extra jumpers to send to charity when I’m done working with the kids….
Anything I’ve forgotten? 
Oh yeah toilettries. Back to the freebie space saving soaps, digging out all my tres organised wash bags (bathroom / make up/ jewellery and nails/ spares). My friend has just found her self delayed on her flight home, but has been put up in a hotel room. She sent me a message to agree that in true traveller style, she was loving the freebies…..mini toiletries and tea and coffee. What are we like?!
So it’s nearly time to embrace living in converse style pumps, a hoody and jeans, have my main coat as a waterproof jacket, and turn into a turtle, lugging my stuff around in a bag.
I’m actually really quite excited!!!!!
It’s like starting new again- I’ve lived in the country for 6 months but could quite easily be going to another!!
I’m looking forward to seeing the sea, being a tourist and taking loads of photos, and actually being herded around for a few days and told what to do and where to go!!!! I’m hoping to balance the feeling of being a sheep, with staying longer and working for accommodation in spots where there are lovely beaches and coastal walks. That is the plan!!
Nothing catches the sparkles like your eyes.
Is there anything better
Than the sparkles cast
on rippling water?
Sunshine glittering
Flashing like white fairy lights.
It makes a place different to me
Instils a sense of calm.
Spellbound to watch
Unable to move away.
A perfect spot to meditate
To stop thinking and just see
Is anything more important
Than whats in front of me?
Kelvin Heights
22/08/13
19th – 25th
Happy Birthday Kate, Becky and Aideen!
Good lord I wonder how many birthdays I’ve been out of the country for now?!
I’m currently sat chilling in a tree on the beach at lake hayes, trying to decide whether to walk the whole track or just sit and chill!! There are loads of little spiders floating around from the bark – its amazing how totally UN bothered I am by them- in Oz I was petrified by any little critter that moved as there were so many evil cretins in that country!!!
I’m getting a decent 2 hour walk in every day at the moment, as well as attempting my mile. It has however already become a drag to run, so I have developed a JP style dance jog, where I listen to ‘macklemore’s – thrift shop’ (double step left and right over a line) or ‘mia’s paper planes’ (bounce at the gun shot and lunge after) or coldplays paradise (mega short steps to keep in time, like speed walking, pulling all your core muscles in) or michael buble’s just havent met you yet, (swinging your hips with slight dancy jazz hands) or two doors cinema club’ something good can work, (double skipping then running fast in the chorus)!!! Ha ha I have just danced or hopped and jumped most of the way round the lake!!! Mumford and sons are good to march up hills to as well, and Will Young for a chilled walk back to the car!!! Much more entertaining, I laugh most of the way, (not entirely sure what passers by think….) and definitely feel it at the end, wheras running just made my shins ache. Boring!!
I have also pretty much finished my blog until I get on the road again. I think I’ve put everything I wanted on to advise anyone who would be planning a solo trip, and have quite a few WordPress followers and likes for what I have written about being a vegetarian and attempting to be ‘healthy!’. So all good, and il just be adding on what I see as I travel round NZ in Sept – Nov now. I have just had a ‘mention’ on somebody elses blog, as a recommendation to read my travel advice and hostel reviews!! How fab is that? Well excited!!!!
I’ve just had another cull of the ‘wardrobe’ now that I’ve realised that there will be more use on my tour for hoodies, leggings and trainers, than maxi dresses!! I’m hoping to leave some things with Michelle for her to take to her tres sunny island holiday, then pick them up when I get back to QT in late Nov, in time to bring them home. Bonus.
So Friday night was wine, clueless on DVD – hilarious at a different level!! And introducing Michelle to early 90s Take That. Including the dance moves for pray and do what you like. Really quite amusing. Did require a walk and a decent brunch to clear the headache the next day though!!!!
And the finale of the week – the engagement of Clare and James woop!!! Sooooooo excited for them!!
It happens again!!
Rays of happiness
All around
In both hemispheres
QT and London town.
So happy
Giving a true thumbs up
Can’t stop grinning
At the stories of luck
Is that what it is?
Mr Bublé wrote the lines,
One half luck?
and the other half time.
Love seeing it happen,
The true smiles on people’s faces
It’s what makes the world go round
Love in different ways and different places
Queenstown 25/08/13
For more verses like these, click on My Words,
My celebratory drink for the to be Mr and Mrs Ashton xx
Thanks for reading
JP xxx
Last week I started Run streaking, and wrote about my inspiration in Healthy Elle – time to streak? And then I got a little bit side tracked feeling rubbish on a really special day for my friends in Hitching or going solo? I am now pleased to say that I got over my self, realised what I was feeling was a little set back, and gave my self a kick up the arse.
I also realised that I have come half way across the world, to find my self settling into a routine that was pretty similar to the one I lived in my home town, south of Manchester.
Patterns
Does it matter where you are?
Does it matter who you’re with?
If there are things that you like, ways that you are
Will you seek them out without realising?
Is there any sense in finding a different you?
Or maybe searching for the way that you want to be?
Because all those years that you fell into your ways,
Are you.
Maybe it’s a way of being?
Determination that some people have
To strive for difference.
And maybe when you just be,
You realise that the way you were was worth it,
And there was no reason to change.
The patterns that you end up in, are you.
And that’s a good thing.
17/08/13
Frankton
And so….. trying to forget this ‘strive to be someone I’m not’, I have taken the ‘run streaking’ and adapted it JP style. Do read on.
What is it about music? The way certain songs can speak to you like they do to no one else? I get that some are just damn good, but I love way a song can completely change your mood. The songs on my ‘Downunder’ playlist are ones I’ve picked up as I’ve travelled. Any where you are in the world, as long as iTunes agrees, you can add a new track.
I have written this today for anyone inspired to exercise, who has a short attention span such as mine.
I completed one week of Run Streaking, before I got bored of running. Even for a mile!!! So I jazzed it up a bit with my ‘downunder’ soundtrack. Obviously you can do the same with your own music – this works for me as I love the songs so much and they just made me want to dance instead of run!! I put them on shuffle, so each ‘run’ is slightly different. I aim to do a mile, or about 15minutes. It’s a lot easier to fit into your day when you can do it from your front door!! Just add 15 mins to your ‘getting ready’ routine – go for a quick mile before you have a shower!! Please note, there is in no way, whatsoever, any technical element for or from this ‘workout’, with no proven results and no expert advice. Just a bored runner sharing her jolly jogging dance moves. There are three songs that I use for stretches, and about 10 for exercise. I also love running to any Basement Jaxx song, Faithless, and a few Girls Aloud songs!!!!
John Mayer – Georgia – click here to listen on You Tube
Stretch before you go
For example- point your toes and pull back 30 times, stand on one leg, bend one knees and hold your heel to your bum for 30 secs each side. Stretch your calves, by lifting your heel onto a bench/ post etc let them relax then lean forward and hold for 30 secs each. And any more technical exercises that you fancy.
Will Young – Come on – click here to listen on You Tube
I bloody love Will. He has this ridiculous power over me and these songs help to snap me out of whatever grump I have found myself in!!!! I power walk to this, strong steps and fast. Each chorus gives you a kick to go faster.
Mia- Paper planes – click here to listen on You Tube
This is an easy one to start with, as I jog slow for most of it, then do 4 jumps at every gun shot, with a lunge after it!! Just silly really! It reminds me of a tour along the great ocean road in a yellow open topped bus with some great girls!!!
Coldplay – Paradise. – click here to listen on You Tube
This worked my calves a lot more than I expected!! Hold all core muscles in, clench your bum cheeks and thighs together, then take small quick quick quick steps to match the beat. I somehow danced to this on a bar in Koh Phangnan. Where there’s wine, there’s a way.
Mumford and Sons – any song I guess, but I like Lion man or I will wait.- click here to listen to Little Lion man , click here to listen to I will wait.
Jog to this, slow down at the calm bits and bloody sprint when the chorus kicks in!! It’s hard not to, the music is so energetic!!!!
Amy Mc Donald – Slow it down. click to listen on You Tube
This is my kareoke song of running. I sing as I jog. It means a lot to me this song, as my mum almost chose it for her song at my Dads funeral because she thought he might like it, and it’s about being ‘everything’ to someone. It’s now my reminder to ‘slow down’, look after myself, keep healthy and enjoy life. One line is ‘Wishing wanting for something more, always better than I had before, who knew these dreams could come true’. Well I always dreamed of living in Australia and New Zealand, and I’m doing that now, so who knows what I can do if I want to? It certainly keeps me running.
Fame and Chizz – Jump on it click to listen on You Tube
So I jog and laugh at this, then when they sing ‘so come on girl, don’t be scared, we ain’t going no where, jump on it, jump on it….. I do side step bounces, two to each side. There are quite a few!!
Alternatively you could stop, put one hand in the air, the other on your hip, and do the Will Smith and Carlton ‘fresh prince’ dance, like they did on Graham Norton. I dare you!! Click to watch Will and Carlton on the show, with Will’s son Jaden – Bloody Love it!!!!!
Two door cinema club – Something good can work. –click to listen on You Tube
This reminds me of working at a stables in Tasmania, where I started trying to exercise a bit more!!! It’s good for a skip or a double skip, where you basically do r/l/r, l/r/l – almost kicking your own heels with the skip. Then the chorus makes you want to run!! Alternate as you listen to the music.
Michael Buble – Haven’t met you yet. – click to listen on You Tube
This is one I swing my hips to!! Jazz hands at the ready, I sashay down the path moving my hips as much as poss, with a little run or skip at the trumpet section!!! Ha ha
Match box twenty- How far we’ve come – click to listen on You Tube
This is quite a steady song, a good one to jog to, as your pace suits. I find my self going a bit faster in the chorus when they sing about ‘let’s see how far we’ve come’.
Macklemore – Thrift shop. – click to listen on You Tube
This really lends it self to bouncing!! Like a left right left, pause… Right left right pause….I hop/ jump over a line, or on and off a path onto the grass? And usually laugh the whole time!!! I love this video – its the bouncing in the batman onesie, it just cracks me up!!!!!
John Mayer – Your body is a wonderland – click to listen on You Tube
Excellent for stretches at the end of your exercise. I listened to this in my 7am stretch class on the cruise and loved it. Listen to him!! He is talking to you!! Just think how much you are doing for your body right now!! Complete any stretches you feel like!!!
Badly Drawn Boy – Time of times – click to listen on You Tube
I love this song. It reminds you that now is the moment to do whatever you want. I heard it at the end of a lovely film. Sit on a bench, lean back with hands resting on your thighs and lift both legs off the floor. Keep both off the floor while you lift one higher, point toes then pull them back, before lowering and alternating. Keep both legs off the floor and straight out for the whole song. I feel this is also good for my stomach muscles and my friend told me its a good exercise to strengthen the muscles on the front of your legs to help prevent the shin pain when running.
My Whereabouts – last week – I’m a bit late….
12th – 18th
Great start to the week!
Loving dressing up like a lady to shop and have lunch out!! ‘New’ dress, ‘new’ belt (read ‘from michelle’s cast offs and the sally army shop) and time on my hands to prance about Queenstown like a local. I don’t need to wear a ski jacket no siree!! However I am cold and now limited to drinking coffee instead of playing frisbee golf in the cold!!!! Not a bad thing though, yesterday I had a mad day and cleaned all morning, power walked all afternoon up a hill and then had the kids later on. My knee is feeling slightly dodgy and I’ve pulled a muscle in my neck. Still not convinced that I’m made for exercise!! But definitely good at sitting and drinking coffee!!
So Carla arrived on Sunday, and we drank wine and reminisced about being stressed out and indecisive in Sydney!! She’s on a tour at the moment with Kiwi Experience, and it sounds a lot like what I will be doing with Stray. They are out every other night though – I’m going to have to save for alcohol funds more than activity funds I think!!
She’s done Milford Sound yesterday and the nevis Bungy (the same one I did) and loved them both.
I ended up out tues and weds with Michelle and her friend Kate, but missed Carla due to her lack of phone credit!! We went to the usual places, had a good old dance and I rediscovered a holiday drink in Malibu and pineapple mmmmmm perfect in cheap bars when the wine is dodgy!!! We met some more lads on holiday, one very cute called Mike from Brisbane who I played pool with. Going home in one day. Boooooo tis the nature of Queenstown.
I took Carla for a walk around Kelvin Heights and over to Arrowtown, but we were all feeling a tad hungover so it was a quiet day!!
So after deciding im not cut out for exercise, I read about ‘run streaking’ when you go for a mile run everyday. And decided to try it. I cant be bothered running for longer, but could do with stepping up the exercise from a walk, so on tuesday I went for a run, nearly collapsed from pain in my legs, and still vowed to give it another go!! Its only a mile, why does it hurt so much? So I’m on three days so far, I am really rather unfit, even after all this walking up hills!!!! It’s my left shin, it hurts so much I almost end up walking!!
I need to adapt or work through the pain!!! I know I need new running shoes, but I’ve only got enough money for 1 month’s accommodation so far and I could do with a bit more on a two month long trip!!!
Hmmm I will sort it and not give up!! It’s only a mile for gods sake!!! Chris B has given me an exercise to strengthen my muscles that completely kills, but if it works I’m all in!!!
Thanks for reading,
JP x
Elle Ever After 